Ages ago my Dad told me that I needed to make friends that were capable of working towards the same goals I had set for myself. "You'll be amazed when you get older, how many of your dreams became possible, because of the circle of friends you chose to spend you life around."

I'm paraphrasing here, and might be misquoting him because only super nerds pay attention to their parents (I can feel Mom rolling her eyes as she reads this in the future). Anyhow, friends of mine, you should know that I listened to the basic gist of my Dad's advice and selected you like the cold blooded lizard monster that I am, so that I could feed off your delicious good qualities.

Your brilliant minds, monomaniacal work ethics, generous hearts, your creative abandon, all perfectly calibrated to feed me when Hulu Plus isn't doing the job.

Which is why I am friends with Brad, who sends things like this through the mail:

Here is an excerpt from the accompanying postcard:

"A lot of the snow is melting so now the sidewalks are littered with defrosted dog turds. In addition to dog turds we saw a Valentine's Day stuffed animal with no head, a can of duck meat (empty), a tube of red lip stick, and a slightly cracked hard boiled egg. -Brad"

It's good to know that the duck meat can was empty Brad. Thank you, and the lovely Leanne, for the card. -Holt